Sunday, December 16, 2012

Xmas 2012: Toys I Don't Want to Give Anyone

Last year I did a post about gifts I didn't want to give or receive. I figured it was time for the 2012 version of this and either I am extra Scroogey this year or extra critical, but I came home with too many jpgs for one post. So here are my picks for toys I don't want to give anyone.


I don't want to give a box of pipecleaners, even if they are giant-sized.

Toy Washing Machine

My First Washing Machine.... listen little girl (btw where's the little boy on this box?)
Soon enough you'll be doing the laundry.  No need to rush it.

The Avengers Bowling Set

 The Avengers: Thor, The Hulk, Captain America, Ironman, and two others... all those superpowers focused on 6 pin bowling.  

And look at this graphic on the side of the box!

HappylandBusy Worksite
Happyland set with 1 electronic sound. It should be
the sound of this little lamb crying as his pasture is razed to build megahouses.

Don't know what was going on at PlayMobil Corp.

Chainsaw Guy

Look at how clearcut it is in the background, not a tree in sight! 
Not to worry little children. 
Trees are *just as happy* to live in pots.

Hazmat Suit/Toxic Fire Set

Ok boys and girls
sometimes bad things happen
(That barrel fire must be something fierce)

Safari Hunting

 Gotcha you wild beastie!
No more roaming for you!
And if you don't go quietly  
(look at the character's expression-yikes)
You'll force me to use this rifle--just to scare you into the box of course.

Here's one for the girls:

The Tanner

 So, boys cut trees, put out chemical fires, trap wild animals and girls sun themselves, have snacks, read, rest in a hammock. Not much excitement for little girls. 
But tanning makes you look pretty right??
Wonder if all this relaxing happens before, after or during the play washing machine session?

 For an Old Maid she looks really happy! (pay attention ladies... )

 I wonder what the tantalizing twist is? 
This picture makes it look like it takes 4 people to play one player.
How old is the girl on the right?
Is she a tween?
I don't believe this picture has every happened anywhere ever.
 A Charlie Brown Christmas Dominoes

 This is not something that I thought was missing from the Charles Schultz product line.

Text on the back says this product will "get you into the Christmas spirit"
and the domino set will get the buyer
"all ready to find the true meaning of Christmas"

I think this is probably the most offensive product to me. Given that A Charlie Brown Christmas was a manifesto against the crass consumerism of our times, Mr. Schultz would spin in his grave
given the use of that cartoon to sell this truly non-essential product.
Here's a reminder


tim said...

Katie,I just got up from rolling on the the floor. Love this post. Especially after wandering aimlessley searching for Christmas gifts. And I'm doing laundry right now...real laundry!

cs said...

Who are these people who joyously play board games while sharing the same side of the table?

Your crappy game roundup was both amusing and slightly depressing. I wonder if these are actually a passive-aggressive outlet for dis-functional parents.

cs said...

Actually, those giant pipe cleaners are strangely tempting.